I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
