I forgot how hot balto sounded
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
