Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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