Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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