i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Randomize
