Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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