my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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