Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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