yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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