For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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