I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
