Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
