so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
