Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
The struggles of a small town man whore
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Randomize
