I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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