Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
