Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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