I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
