Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
