hotel room ftw
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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