Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Randomize
