No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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