i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
