Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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