We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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