I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
