yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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