My girlfriend figured out who you are.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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