how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Randomize
