You just made me feel so damn special
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
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