So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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