Three words: puerto rican gang bang
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
They have beer where we have blood.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
