Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
