like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I wear drunk well.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
