Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
