He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
