i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
