Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
