My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
