Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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