That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
