We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
