hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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