guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Me too!
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Holy sore nipples Batman
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
