just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
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