You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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