Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Randomize
