If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
