I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Randomize
