he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
