I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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