My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
