Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
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