Where did you get a picture of my penis
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
