so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
BRING THE BAGELS
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
