New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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