I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
