I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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