I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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