I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize