Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
