I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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