where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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