Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
