So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
