I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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