Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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