you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
